Help! My Cats Are Miserable! (Vet Answered)
This question has been answered by a vet
Veterinarian & Animal Behaviorist
With nearly two decades in veterinary medicine, Dr. Paola brings hands-on experience across multiple species. A graduate of the University of Guadalajara, she specializes in preventive care, animal welfare, and positive reinforcement training.
The Question
“Good afternoon, Dr. Paola,
I have three cats: Riley (female domestic medium fur) 14.5 years, Aslan (maine coon male) 7.5 years, and Aspen (maine coon male) 5.75 years. Riley, spayed, does pretty well with both boys and lets them know when they need to cool their jets and stay away from her. My 2 boys did great together, both are neutered, after just a few days of bringing Aspen home from the breeder. They played together, slept together, and ate together with no hissing, growling, slapping, or puffing from Aslan directed toward Aspen. All that changed immediately after I brought Aspen home from being neutered. I thought it was just the strange odors from the vet hospital that had Aslan upset. Alas, it was not the odors.
Aslan is so jealous of Aspen that they are both miserable. I try to give Aslan more attention, and that only makes him act more aggressive toward Aspen. I play with Aslan one-on-one, and everything is great until Aspen enters the area. I’m worn out trying to keep peace. Aspen is not at all aggressive in any way, shape, or form. He would love to be friends with Aslan, but that hasn’t proven possible, no matter how much I try or Aspen tries to facilitate a friendship. So, he just avoids Aslan. Why would neutering Aspen have anything to do with the aggression from Aslan that started after Aspen’s surgery? I’m puzzled. “ – Nancy
Quick Info about Riley and Aslan and Aspen
Hi Nancy,
Thank you for sharing such a detailed message. I can truly sense how much you care for your cats and maintaining harmony among them. It’s not uncommon for changes in behavior to surface after a vet visit, especially around a neutering procedure. While the surgery itself typically does not alter an adult cat’s personality overnight, the timing of the change often leads to some understandable confusion. What may have happened here is a shift in social dynamics. Aslan and Aspen had formed a bond early on, and any alteration, even something as subtle as hormonal shifts or residual veterinary odors, can disrupt that balance. In multi-cat households, even short separations can lead to a kind of “reintroduction shock,” where one cat no longer recognizes the other as fully familiar.
Another factor to consider is that Aslan’s behavior may not be rooted in rivalry alone, but in insecurity. Cats are highly sensitive, and if Aslan perceives Aspen as receiving more attention or sees him as a “changed” individual after the vet visit, this could easily trigger defensive or competitive behavior. Neutering Aspen may have altered his scent slightly, or even changed his posture and demeanor temporarily, which could have confused or threatened Aslan. Since Aspen is not showing any signs of aggression, the stress is likely one-sided, which means your focus might be best placed on helping Aslan rebuild confidence and feel safe again. Using multicat synthetic feline pheromones around shared areas, providing elevated spaces where each cat can retreat (obviously assuming Aspen is fully recovered), and keeping routines predictable can gently nudge them back toward coexistence. If things don’t begin to ease soon, working with a feline behavior consultant or using a tele-triage veterinary service can be incredibly helpful to guide the next steps without the need for a clinic visit. I wish you good luck in your challenge to bring peace back home!
Dr. Paola