Help! My Cat Won’t Cuddle! (Vet Answered)
This question has been answered by a vet
Veterinarian & Animal Behaviorist
With nearly two decades in veterinary medicine, Dr. Paola brings hands-on experience across multiple species. A graduate of the University of Guadalajara, she specializes in preventive care, animal welfare, and positive reinforcement training.
The Question
“Dear Dr. Paola,
My cat Isabella is a little over one year old and is settling into her new home. She used to be a feral outdoor cat. Sometimes she’ll let me pet her and cuddle with her (usually on the bed at night), but often not during the day. But she loves to be pet by my feet, and will rub against them most of the time. Why? “– Melanie
Quick Info about Isabella
📹 Vet's Video Reply (scroll down to see text answer)
Hi Melanie,
Welcome to a very special stage in Isabella’s life: she’s learning to trust, and that’s a beautiful journey to witness. What you’re describing is actually very typical for cats who’ve lived outdoors and are adjusting to a domestic environment. Isabella’s behaviors, especially her preference for petting near your feet and her nighttime cuddles, are signs of trust building at her own pace.
Cats who were previously feral often feel safer with low, indirect interactions. Your feet are less intimidating than your hands or your face, which may feel more confrontational, especially during the day when the house is busier and brighter. Approaching your feet allows Isabella to initiate contact on her terms, and rubbing against them is part of how cats mark familiar, comforting territory with the scent glands located in their cheeks. At night, when the world is quieter and the environment (including your behavior) feels more predictable, her comfort level rises enough for closer snuggles. This rhythm is entirely normal and a sign that she’s gradually integrating her instincts with her new home life. I know of many cats who retain this preference for sleeping by their owner’s feet, especially at bedtime, throughout the years. Believe me when I say you will miss this perfect foot warmer whenever you need to travel and can’t bring Isabella with you.
Continue to allow her to lead interactions while reinforcing positive experiences through calm and consistent routines. Hand-feeding her treats can help her associate your hands with positive outcomes. Respecting her boundaries while celebrating these small moments of affection will strengthen your bond over time. If you ever feel unsure about her progress or would like tailored behavioral support, feel free to book a call with us at PangoVet. We would be happy to offer insight and tips to help her slowly open up to your interactions and her new place in your family.
Best wishes,
Dr. Paola