Help! My Cat Seems Sad! (Vet Answered)
This question has been answered by a vet
Veterinarian & Animal Behaviorist
With nearly two decades in veterinary medicine, Dr. Paola brings hands-on experience across multiple species. A graduate of the University of Guadalajara, she specializes in preventive care, animal welfare, and positive reinforcement training.
The Question
“Hi Dr Paola!
My 14-year-old cat, Tilly, started meowing all of the time after I had to put Isis, my 24-year-old cat to sleep. They were not close to each other. Tilly is now the alpha cat (Isis was before) in my 2-cat household. She is not close with my other 14-year-old cat, who was close to Isis. I’m not sure what she wants. She seems bored but does not want to play with toys. Any suggestions? Thank you. “ – Penny
Quick Info about Tilly and Isis
Hi Penny, I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing a beloved cat, especially one who shared your life for 24 years, is incredibly difficult. Even though Tilly and Isis weren’t particularly close, Isis’s absence has still changed the dynamic of your household, and Tilly is likely reacting to that shift. You did not mention when this happened but I am assuming recently. Her increased vocalization could be a way of expressing uncertainty, seeking reassurance, or even adjusting to the silence left behind. Cats thrive on routine and familiarity, so even subtle changes. The absence of Isis’s presence, movements, or scent can feel unsettling.
It’s interesting that you mentioned Tilly taking on the “alpha” role. Domestic cats’ social structure is mostly about territory, resource access, and personal comfort. Some cats are naturally more confident and assertive, while others are more passive. Isis may have been the most influential cat in your home, guiding routines in her own way, and now that she’s gone, Tilly might be feeling a mix of uncertainty and responsibility. Her vocalization could be her way of processing the change, checking in with you, or simply trying to redefine her routine.
Since she seems restless but uninterested in toys, try engaging her in other ways. Clicker training, puzzle feeders, or even simply adding environmental enrichment. Add a new perch, a cozy hideaway, or a window seat for birdwatching. Some cats also respond well to calming pheromone diffusers. Just make sure you get the multicat formula, which can provide extra comfort during social interactions and structure transitions. She may need extra reassurance from you right now, so gentle attention, talking to her, or offering her a lap to sit on (if she enjoys that) could help her adjust. You know her best, offer her opportunities for happiness. With time, she’ll find her balance again, and her vocalization may settle as she regains confidence in her new household dynamic.
Best wishes!
Dr. Paola