Help! I Have to Keep My Cats Separate! (Vet Answered)
This question has been answered by a vet
Veterinarian & Animal Behaviorist
With nearly two decades in veterinary medicine, Dr. Paola brings hands-on experience across multiple species. A graduate of the University of Guadalajara, she specializes in preventive care, animal welfare, and positive reinforcement training.
The Question
“Hi Dr Paola!
I have three cats. My 12-year-old cat (Jinx) and a 2-year-old cat (Sherbert) were in the house together and got along great. Then Rocky showed up on our porch. I fell in love and brought him into the fold. Jinx is the goofiest lovebug you will ever meet—EXCEPT when he sees Rocky. He immediately starts growling and hissing, and then Rocky gets defensive, and they have even attacked each other. Nothing I have done seems to help. They still hate each other. So for over 2 years, we have kept them apart. Rocky sleeps in my room and stays there all morning. Then the other two go in, and Rocky gets free-range house time until bedtime. It’s so hard, and I feel so bad, but I can’t let any of them go. Our house is tiny, and I work full time, so it’s hard for me to do any of the tips I find online. Do you have ANY advice at all? My heart breaks every day to keep them like this. “ – Carrie
Quick Info about Jinx and Sherbert and Rocky
Hi Carrie,
I can truly feel how much love and dedication you have for all three of your cats. Managing a household where two cats don’t get along is incredibly tough, especially in a small space, but the fact that you’ve found a way to keep everyone safe and comfortable for over two years is a testament to your patience and care. It’s completely understandable to feel heartbroken, but please know that you are already doing so much to make the best of a difficult situation.
Since Jinx and Rocky have an ingrained hostility toward each other, a full reset might be the only way to try and rebuild their relationship. This would mean starting from scratch with a slow and structured reintroduction process, as if they had never met. However, given your full-time work schedule and the limited space, that may not be a realistic option. In that case, the best way to ease tensions might be indirect positive associations. Try swapping their bedding frequently so they get used to each other’s scent in a non-threatening way. Using a multi-cat pheromone diffuser in common areas can also promote a calmer atmosphere. Additionally, if you have time, engaging in parallel play—where you play with each cat separately but in sight of each other (even through a baby gate or a cracked door)—can help them associate each other with positive experiences.
Some cats, like Jinx and Rocky, may never be best friends, and that’s okay. If full integration isn’t possible, optimizing the separate living arrangement to reduce stress is a perfectly valid and loving approach. If there’s any way to create even vertical separation, like opposite sides of wall-mounted shelves or tall cat trees, it could help them coexist in the same room without feeling directly threatened. You’re not failing them, Carrie; you’re giving them a home where they are safe and loved. And that is everything. Likewise, if you would more information, you can speak with one of our vets. We have an online televet service, PangoVet, where you can speak face-to-face and get behavioral and training advice from one of our experienced veterinarians.
Best of luck,
Dr. Paola